Thursday, May 4, 2017

#8 The Secret Life of Hal

Apt 309 was a model apartment for the extremely rare browser of an apartment in the victorian. Hal managed to climb in there through a window left cracked everyday. He had convinced himself that he lived there now, and Dave was no longer his roommate. Dave was not in fact his roommate, but his owner. Hal’s narcissistic views also lead him to believe that he was a telemarketer. This was all his imagination, however the workers at Empire Offices did let him roam around the place from time to time.

Hal was prescribed some pills that he needed to take daily. The Vet told dave that the pills would help get hal into his cage. Hal could not understand this, because if he could he would have never taken his pills. The cage was the last place Hal wanted to be. Hal despised his cage. It was the reason he left in the first place. He felt alienated by the cage. He didn’t like feeling trapped, or looking out of the small hole on only one side of the cage.

Dave mixed in the pills with Hal’s dinner. Hal ate his dinner and the pills. Dave decided to test his luck by trying to get hal into his cage. Hal complied immediately. He laid down in his cage and looked up. The red space suit sticker was still across the ceiling of his cage.

Friday, April 28, 2017

#7 Dave

Hal ran down the street illuminated by the dark orange moon. Other people were out observing the moon, but hal kept running. As he passed the window of the olive Garden, he saw the red spacesuit on himself in the mirror reflection. Hal immediately looked down to make sure that he was still wearing his suit. As he confirmed that he was wearing his suit, he ran directly into Barnabas's car that was stopped at a stop light. “You're killing me Hal. What's your deal man?” This was a completely normal reaction considering this was the second time that Hal had run into Barnabas’s car in a week. Hal carefully got back up, fixed his suit and started to cry. “It’s ok Hal, i'll take you back home to Dave”. Dave? Hal thought. No not dave. Hal tried to run away, but one of his legs was broken. Barnabus grabbed him by the neck and placed him down in the car. When they got to the Victorian Barnabas carried him to apartment 302 instead of 309. Dave opened the door and greeted Barnabas, then he saw Hal. “My goodness Hal. I thought i’d lost you.”

“I think he hurt his leg” Barnabas replied.

The following morning Dave took Hal to the doctor. After roughly an hour and a half a young female veterinarian walked out with Hal, who was now on crutches. She looked at Dave and said “Sir, we think your cat has developed schizophrenia”

Monday, March 6, 2017

#6 Sale 275


Hal decided to stay late at work, very late. All of the other co-workers, even coach had left early to try and avoid dealing with the storm at night. Sales that day had been awfully slow and Hal was determined to make a few extra sales in order to keep numbers up. Over the past few weeks, Hal had become quite the master of selling chessboards over the phone. In one hand he was holding a phone about 6 inches away from his ear, trying to dampen the incredibly loud voice of a British mom who occasionally screamed at her children to stop throwing rocks at each other. At the same time, he had another phone held tightly between his head and shoulder. On this phone, he was listening very carefully to a whispering student at Mississippi State who was reading off the numbers of a sleeping roommates credit card. Hal of course did not know this. Using another persons credit card without their permission is illegal and more importantly, against protocol on the third floor of empire offices. Hal always followed protocol.

            274 chessboards sold in 16 hours. Almost 1 sale every 3 and a half minutes. This had never been done before. In fact, Hal might have been the best telemarketer to ever set foot on the earth.


            Brrrrrrrp Brrrrrrp. The sound of the phone echoed throughout the abandoned office. Bouncing off of empty desks and piles of chess boards. Brrrrrp Brrrrrrp. The phone rang. There was a chessboard set on display in the middle of the room. Brrrrrrp Brrrrrrp. The phone rang. The lights flickered. Hal couldn’t hear the rain anymore. Just silence. “Hello Hal” a soft male voice said through the phone. Chills sprinted up the spine of Hal. “lets play a game Hal”. The lights flickered again. A piece on the display chessboard was now moved to a new spot. Hal instantly hung up the phone and gathered his belongings. When he stood up, the lights completely cut off. Hal was now sprinting around the office trying to find the exit. Hal collided with an 8 ft tall stack of chessboards. When he fell to the ground the lights came back on. This time, there was an identical version of Hal wearing a completely red space suit seated at the display chessboard.  

Monday, January 23, 2017

#5 Chrysanthemum


A stone skipped through the water.

Ripples of rainbows were created with each bounce of the stone on the crayon infested water. A ripple now traveled to the reflection of Hal who was looking into the water.  Hals normally grey eyes were reflected as a tie-dye of every single color imaginable. The rainbow wave slowly moved through Hals reflection, distorting it. The water calmed down, revealing a new reflection of Hal who was wearing a completely red space suit. Hal was stunned. The reflection suddenly smiled at Hal, causing him to jump and throw the rest of his rocks at the water. Hal left the lake before the water had time to calm down.


Feeling spooked out, Hal rushed to Connie’s coffee shop, because he knew there would be a lot of people gathered there.  A shock ran threw his body when he spotted Olive. He saw the wall of flowers and decided to take action. Hal decided to go with a white Chrysanthemum for the similarity in appearance it shared with a cloud. Hal walked up to Olive, who was busy cleaning spilled coffee. Hal held the flower out in front of her. Olive was still busy scrubbing away. “Hey olive… I got you this flower because when I’m with you, I feel like I’m on a clou-” Before Hal could finish his pick up line, Olive snatched the flower and started scrubbing it into to the ground. She had mistaken it for a new sponge. The flower instantly became a stained and ruined pile of mush. Olive slowly looked up at Hal.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

#4 Orange Peel

Hal spent his lunch break picking up orange peels on the tracks. His hands got full pretty quickly so he started filling his briefcase with orange peels. Once his briefcase became full he began filling his suit and pants pockets, as well as his socks. He had just enough room for all the peels, but he lost track of time. It was 4 now and a new train arrived, only to stop and cut off Hal from the rest of the city. He now had to take a new longer route around the train to get back to the empire office building. The orange peels made his pockets look like volcanoes that could erupt at any second. This drew the attention from some people. Others simply did not notice. Hal was unaffected, in fact he forgot the peels were in every article of clothing he owned. It was only when he reached down to tie his shoe that he be reminded, because of the bulging in his socks from the peels. This also made him come to a realization of a problem. He didn’t know what to do with the orange peels. Hal was puzzled by this and decided to seek guidance. Across the street was a boy with tape over his mouth that kept pointing at Hal. An older man who kept his eyes closed accompanied the boy.
“What is it boy. You know I can’t see,” said the old man. The boy kept pointing at Hal.
Hal took notice of this and decided to approach the two. “Hey boys, can I ask for some help,” The boy and the old man didn’t respond. “Well you see, I have a lot of orange peels and I don’t know where to put them,” Hal said
“What, what does that mean. You, you need to give those oranges back to whoever you stole them from,” the old man said. “Yes! Yes! That’s it. Thank you for your help,” Hal replied.


Hal spent his evening placing the orange peels back where he found them. He handled the peels very delicately and was cautious about where he was stepping. He didn’t want to ruin any of the peels. It was nighttime now and Hal had put every single orange peel back where he found it. After a long successful day, Hal decided it was time to go home. On his way home he saw the boy setting up a tent in the park. Hal went over to say thank you to the boy, but the boy didn’t respond. All he did was point into the pitch-black abyss of the playground. Hal nodded and walked into the park. The only sound was that of the wind picking up and a rusty swing rocking.  All of a sudden the old man lunged at Hal screaming “The truth with all its power lives inside me,” repeatedly.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

#3 The Water Jug

Making sure no one can see him, Hal leaps into the air. He lands and proceeds into a full sprint victory run. Hal had just spent his afternoon on a spontaneous get together with Olive Rodriguez. The two shared the majority of a refreshing gallon of water at Rainbow River. Hal ended up leaving with the remainder of the gallon and leaving Olive with his business card. Hal was proud of himself, because he seldom talks to people in real life outside of his job. Although Hal is trained to meet and persuade people over the phone in the telemarketing field, he felt slightly nervous and a little tongue tied when talking to Olive. This didn't sway Hals feeling of joy, nothing could. Not even when he continued his victory run into the street and was met by the car of Barnabas Evergreen.
             Hal slammed into the windshield and stopped moving. A few seconds pass. No reaction from Hal. Barnabas not sure how to react. A few more seconds pass. Its been long enough now for Barnabas to remember that he in fact wasn't moving at all and that Hal had run directly into his car. With this in mind, Barnabas smashed his horn. Instantly Hal sprang back to life. Quarter gallon jug in one hand and his briefcase in the other. The two had been neighbors for a few years now, but this was their first and longest interaction with each other. Barnabas noticed the water jug and fell into a trance. Hal assessed himself, finding out that he was perfectly Ok and then decided to engage in another real life social experience. "Can I get a ride?" Hal said. "uhhh sure" Barnabas replied. 
          

Thursday, October 13, 2016

#2 This Is Living?

"Welcome to Empire Offices. 3rd floors where we're headed next!" Hal told the Southern Living reporter. Hal was stopped by the reporter earlier that day as he was walking out of the Victorian. The reporter was a short tubby man who wore glasses that contained almost 1 inch thick lenses. Although Hal was only an inch or two below 6 feet, the reporter barely stood above Hal's briefcase.
        The two men got on the elevator and went up to the 3rd floor. "ahhh a chess shop?" the reporter asked. "Telemarketing. We're currently selling chessboards" Hal replied,
Hals small cubical was a mirage of organization in a desert of clutter. Hal sat down and removed his laptop from his briefcase, along with a thick stack of stapled sheets of paper containing thousands of phone numbers. Before the reporter could continue his interview with Hal, a loud raspy voice shot through the air "What are you doing here! Hal we've got work to do!" This was the voice of an old man who went by "Coach". Coach had been working telemarketing at Empire Offices ever since the telephone was invented, which helped him rise to manager status.
        As the elevator closed and the little reporter from Southern Living descended back down to the street, Coach looked at Hal and with a nice tone said "Come into my office, I need to show you something,"